Have you ever said or done something and the other person with you reacts more strongly or differently than you might have expected? Perhaps you mention to your friend that you are going to be a few minutes late for tomorrow’s luncheon. You receive a harsh comeback when you had not anticipated a problem with your intentions.
As Newton’s law teaches us, every action has a reaction. The reaction we have to someone’s actions is generally based on a few variables: our concerns, our expectations, our relationships and our personal anxiety levels. In truth, there are always 4 components to a conversation – the speaker’s words, the speaker’s intent, the listener’s reaction, and the listener’s response, be it verbal or otherwise. So much can go wrong with so many uncontrolled variables it’s no wonder there is so much misunderstanding that often leads to anger and frustration.
Written by Cindy Goldrich, Ed.M., ACAC © 2013 PTS Coaching. All rights reserved. Articles may be reproduced or electronically distributed as long as attribution to PTS Coaching is maintained.
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