September 28, 2018
No Two Parent Experiences Are The Same When It Comes to ADHD
Every person is born with a unique chemistry, physique and temperament – and no operator’s manual! This understanding is why the guiding principle of “parenting the child you have” is a pillar of PTS Coaching’s positive parenting mantra. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we each have a belief about how we are supposed to parent a child. We stand by these beliefs until our instinct or logic does not produce the results we anticipated or desired. This all too common occurrence leaves us frustrated as a family unit and struggling to keep the relationships in the unit calm and connected.
For some children, as long as we provide a safe, nurturing environment, they will generally perform as we would expect, given our guidance and varying opportunities along the way. However, for other children, all the good parenting skills, love, logic, and effort to connect does not seem to be enough to help them cooperate and succeed.
When faced with these types of difficulties, many parents struggle with their own ability and value. We often think, why isn’t this working? Am I doing something wrong? What do I do now? Am I a bad parent? Rather than pointing fingers and instilling guilt, I would ask you to consider the nature of the child you are parenting.
Why Is It So Hard?
Often, we only begin to realize that we might have an especially challenging child when we are already struggling. If you are a parent trying to help a child who struggles with attention regulation, impulsivity or level of activity, chances are you have become familiar with the world of ADHD and positive parenting philosophies. The reality is, raising children with ADHD becomes a much more difficult parenting experience. Top professional medical associations, like the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, recommend Parent training and education regardless of other treatments being employed to help the child manage their ADHD.
As parents become more educated and aware of how the traits of ADHD impact their child’s life, they become more conscious of how they must adjust their parenting to match the needs of their child. This brings us back to the “Parent the child You have” mantra. The “parent the child you have” philosophy is a cornerstone all of the work that I do as a Parent Coach, mentor and ADHD workshop instructor.
Family members, friends, even well-meaning teachers and other professionals may offer advice and strategies to help you “fix” or “teach” your child. At PTS Coaching we are not trying to fix your child but provide the right tools to help you connect to your child and follow the pathways to your success.
Parenting The Child You Have
We understand the struggles and teach positive parenting approaches that help you learn to trust your inner voice. Good parenting skills allow you to tailor your approach to meet the needs of your wonderfully, unique child.
Positive parenting comes in many shapes and sizes, for some, this means providing tighter control, for others it requires offering more guidance and support, and many parents also find it means reducing certain obligations or expectations in the present time in order to build positive pathways for the future. These are some of the issues our ADHD Parent Workshops can help you explore and resolve. PTS Coaching offers workshops nationally and on the web via the Calm and Connected webinar series
With “Parent the child You have” as your guiding principle, you will be able to help your child thrive. The more you, and your child, can learn about how ADHD affects them specifically, the more equipped you and your child will be to face the challenges ahead. Change and growth take time, patience, and sometimes a little extra help and support from someone outside your family who can add insight and perspective. Be careful to seek out people who truly understand the science and complexities of ADHD who can support you as you Parent the child You have.
Written by Cindy Goldrich, Ed.M., ACAC © 2018 PTS Coaching. All rights reserved. Articles may be reproduced or electronically distributed as long as attribution to PTS Coaching is maintained.