I first met Jami Shapiro at the CHADD conference and was immediately struck by her warmth, wisdom, and passion for helping people better understand ADHD across the lifespan. Her personal story—of discovering her own ADHD through her child’s diagnosis and eventually recognizing the same traits in her mother—is powerful, relatable, and deeply important.
Jami is the host of the podcast Grandma Has ADHD, where I’ll be joining her as a guest on the May 6th episode. Here she shares stories and insights that validate and uplift older adults navigating their own late-in-life ADHD discoveries. In this guest blog, she offers practical advice for grandparents who want to support their ADHD grandchildren and their adult children—without overstepping or judging. Her thoughtful approach blends empathy, lived experience, and humor in a way that is both affirming and actionable.
For millennials and older generations, ADHD was often hidden in plain sight. Many of us who grew up in the 70s, 80s, and early 90s experienced childhoods without phones, constant television, and with the opportunity to play until the streetlights came on. The chance for movement and creative play helped manage ADHD symptoms—especially for those of us who were inattentive and not hyperactive.
Today’s Gen Z and Gen Alpha children are growing up in a different environment—one that can both reveal and exacerbate ADHD traits. Increased awareness is a good thing, but exposure to nonstop digital content from a young age brings new challenges.
I will be a guest on Jami’s Podcast on May 6th to share my perspectives on the role Grandparents play when their adult children or grandchildren are dealing with ADHD. I would love to hear about your experiences – either as the parent or the grandparent as we all navigate generational interactions.
Recognizing ADHD Across Generations
by Jamie Shapiro, Grandma Has ADHD
Q: Many grandparents are only discovering their own ADHD in adulthood—sometimes after their children are diagnosed. What was your journey like, and how did it shape your understanding?
I discovered my ADHD when my oldest child, Will (they/them), asked to be evaluated in middle school. At first, I dismissed it: “You’ve been reading since you were three!” But during the psychiatrist’s evaluation, I realized I was answering more “yes” questions for myself than for my child.
Founding Silver Linings Transitions, a company focused on senior move management and home organization, sparked what I call my “dinosaur obsession” with ADHD. I earned my Level 2 ADHD Specialist designation through the Institute for Challenging Disorganization and began training as a coach with the ADD Coach Academy.
The most profound moment came when I recognized ADHD traits in my 76-year-old mother. Her clutter, missed appointments, and chronic anxiety finally made sense. Instead of judgment, I found empathy. It changed our relationship.
That journey inspired me to launch my podcast, Grandma Has ADHD, which supports older adults navigating their late-in-life diagnosis.
Supporting Adult Children and Grandchildren
Q: How can grandparents support their grandchildren with ADHD—without overstepping?
Start with empathy. As a parent with ADHD, I know how hard it can be to accept help. Below are ways you can talk with your adult children to support your grandchildren.
Grandparents Can:
- Share gently: Instead of saying “I think your child has ADHD,” say “This article reminded me of some challenges I’ve seen.” and offer a resource like this article Maybe it is ADHD…Does It Really Matter? on PTSCoaching,com
- Tell Your Story: Normalize ADHD by sharing your own experiences.
- Offer specific help: “Would it help if I made a checklist for bedtime when they stay over?”
You might also reference the article, Stop Enabling and Start Trusting, for tips on building independence. - Create a judgment-free zones: Parents get enough criticism. Be their soft place to land.
Support also means structure—routines, breaks, and clear expectations. And it means celebrating creativity, curiosity, and resilience.
Respecting Boundaries:
- Ask before offering advice: “Would it be helpful if I shared something I read?”
- Respect treatment decisions: Parents choose what works for their family.
- Mirror their discipline: Consistency helps kids thrive.
Above all, stay curious and compassionate. ADHD is complex. Our understanding keeps evolving. You don’t have to have all the answers—you just have to keep showing up.
Processing Guilt and Embracing Growth
Q: What would you say to grandparents feeling guilt over not recognizing their own ADHD sooner?
You didn’t fail. You survived and did the best you could with what you knew. Now you get to model self-compassion for your children and grandchildren.
Remember: ADHD wasn’t part of the conversation for most of our lives. But it is now. It’s never too late to grow, understand yourself, and make changes that matter.
Resources and Ongoing Learning
Q: Are there specific resources or tools that you recommend for grandparents who want to better understand ADHD and be a source of support without being intrusive?
This is my “why.” People 50 and over have been largely left out of the ADHD conversation. My podcast and work at Grandma Has ADHD is about changing that. We’re never too old to understand ourselves better and make positive changes.
To learn more about Jami’s work, listen to her podcast, and explore additional resources for grandparents and older adults with ADHD, visit grandmahasadhd.com.
Don’t forget to tune in on May 6, 2025 to hear our conversation on the Grandma Has ADHD podcast!
